Joe is yelling at the trees again.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
