Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
