drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
