Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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