Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
