Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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