i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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