He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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