No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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