We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We have started to decorate penises.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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