..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
