I want to stick my p in your. b.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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