I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize