somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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