and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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