Pappa wants mamma naked
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
