plz talk dirty to me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize