Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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