Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
