there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Porn is love you can see.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
