Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
