It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
