guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
