yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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