Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
