We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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