I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
