but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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