WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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