If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So drunk its hurt
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
