haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
