Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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