God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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