We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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