Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
