Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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