Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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