No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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