he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
