guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
this boner is exhausting
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
