id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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