I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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