the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
