I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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