If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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