i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When did angry sex become our thing?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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