oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We left the knife in your bed.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
