ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
