So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Are we still banned from the library?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
