Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
