It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Are we still banned from the library?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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