So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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