we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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