My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
