South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
