yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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