I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize