I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
this boner is exhausting
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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