idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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