thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So much Jack, so little girl.
Randomize
