For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
